different ways of hearing
I had been kinda thinking abt this flaws I had in music also was something I think am really proud of sometimes. sense of melody. I always felt like every culture has their own sense of melody and rhythmical feel. I remembered when I started learning music, my rhythm is very straight my sense of phrase is very melodic based rather than rhythmical, which my first teacher told me you sound too Chinese. ( which in that period of time, I think sounding Chinese is a bad thing. that means I have no musical talent.) for the longest time learning western music to me felt like escapism, because I don't wanna sound Chinese. it's bad to sound Chinese. and later on this insecurity became how I look and how I talk. I have accent, and my skin isn't pale enough, and etc. a lot of things. ppl on the internet kept talking abt East Asian women are constantly anxious etc. like there's nothing absolutely nothing good abt us represent on the internet. then I think one day I started reali...
